As New England Patriots fans reel from the impact that quarterback Tom Brady’s haircut has had on NFL football, cruisers in Grenada wonder if the same fate awaits them upon the return of Michael Steven Lezovich. Unshorn, mostly, since January, Mike’s enviable full head of hair has grown to an untraditional, decidedly un-IBM length.
His hair is so long now that it no longer appears silver but blonde. Reports from the training camp in Michigan where Mike first learned to toss his hair our of his eyes indicate that Papa Joe is displeased with the long locks.
“He looks like a girl!” says Joe. “But I must admit that I like the way his hair has bleached to a nice blonde shade. It reminds me of my own locks that led to my nickname, Sunny.”
Michael’s daughter Mikayla concurs. The long hair must go. After begging her father for weeks to let her cut his hair, she returned from the family reunion in Michigan with widespread support from his family for a haircut.
“If he was my son, I’d take him down to the basement and give him a buzzcut,” Aunt Katherine Gutting threatened. As a long-time hair stylist, she knows how to create the high and tight style favored by the military.
Speaking of the military, Uncle Jim Carbary can only shake his head over Michael’s coiffure that is nearing hippie proportions. Clearly, he’s too overcome with emotion to express his disappointment.
Seren and Bekah Hawtrey, however, love their uncle’s long hair. “I’m the boss of this family, and I think we should braid it!” exclaims Bekah, the four-year-old. Seren adds that she thinks a couple of beads would make a fine accessory. At nine years of age, she has lots of beads in her craft box.
As hashers gather to hash, cruisers meet to have sundowners and locals get together to lime, they whisper uneasily among themselves with the same sense of doom as an approaching hurricane: Will he or won’t he cut his hair before returning to Grenada?